Definitions for Airsoft Noobs

Balls Airsoft

Balls Airsoft

Here are some definitions for Airsoft Noobs, as in definitions for the Noobs, as in terms all Noobs can learn and use.

This weeks Balls Airsoft Boot Camp will explain, basic terms, gear, guns, some ideas for guys who have been playing for a while and shit that pisses me off.

First term “patton” or “curry” if Canadian or “monty” if British. Yes the capitalization was omitted deliberately.

An alpha male type who thinks they are supreme allied commander of the playing field.

“watch patton address the troops”, A great old Vietnam movie “Go tells the Spartans” has the best scene to describe what a patton is.

Let me start by telling you I hate the term Noob, mainly because I’m the guy who is called that. Normally I play at many different fields every year, not the same one week after week so I’m not well known at any one. Also I’m not all kitted out, with vest, helmet, and all the other look cool kit. Just me in solid green field gear, a beat up M4 and a webbing belt, yea I look like a Noob. Don’t care, it’s the way I like to play most of the time.

I don’t want to be that guy, the guy who says “I’ve played longer than you have even heard of airsoft” but I’ve played airsoft longer than you have even heard of it. That statement is true for ninety nine percent of the players out there, my Marui m4 was received a month before the majority of them got introduced to anywhere outside of Japan. What is that 12 plus years ago? and it wasn’t my first “soft” either.  I would insert a “my M4 is older than you, but this site is clearly designed for the over eighteen crowd, or nineteen or twenty one or i live in my parents basement and need to clear the browser history or mom will kill me if she finds out I went to a site with naked boobs. Depending on where you live, govern yourself accordingly, if your under age for this site, check this page, it won’t warp your mind with guns and boobs .

However every once and a while I go to the field some asshole patton type looks at me and calls me Noob. Don’t get me wrong most guys who play airsoft are great, as you already know. However with any sport you do get the odd person you wish would just take their ball(s) and go home. What is it with these alpha male navy seal wannabe chairborn (yes that spelled right) commando types? Buddy, you’re a (put in any number of occupations here) not a special op, Don’t be bossing people around like you have a smick of what to do. Most people are at the fieldto have a good time, blow off some steam or in pattons mind, the worst case scenario, some guy out on a corporate team building event.

My favorite patton is the guy telling me to go on the other team, we have enough Noobs already. Guess who is getting hunted today by me, that’s right, you fucker. I will let a hundred guys pass just to tag you out. When I tell your team mates what my task is, they will let me pass to go after you, because they are sick of you too. You barking out orders to “double flank the forward position in a pincer movement and push through” (that’s a direct quote by the way) has grated on them more than anyone else. The fact no one is listening to you should be an indicator you don’t matter.

The fun ends about noon when I stop carrying a childish grudge and begin to start playing either serious or just start goofing around depending on my mood. Charging a bunker on automatic screaming BANZAI, or teaming up with an old army buddy too clear a trench system. Kicking ass doing it. Unless it’s a serious scenario game where authenticity is stressed, let people do their own thing, It’s a game, enjoy it.

So the word and advice for the day is, patton, don’t be one.

Lead yourself over to the …and porn page soldier!

Categories: Airsoft Noob terms, Balls Airsoft Boot Camp

Comments are closed.